I recently participated in my community's first SlutWalk. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the event, more info here. Essentially it is an organized nonviolent way to come together and visibly protest rape culture and the institutionalized, pervasive societal practice of victim blaming in relation to sexual assault. Our local SlutWalk may not have been so well attended without the recent media attention on our University's inadequate and uncoordinated response to sexual assault, or Rush Limbaugh's latest bout of abhorrent and irrational prose, in which he called Sandra Fluke a slut for publicly advocating for women to have access to affordable, reliable, responsible birth control. These things are occurring amidst a rash of other misogynistic legislative acts in which ultra conservatives are back tracking and proposing legislation that will undermine the strides our nation has made toward gender equality. Collectively these actions are being referred to as the "War on Women" and include such items as GA Rep Terry England's H.B. 954 (aka Women as Livestock); the infamous all-male panel on birth control; bills that falsely link abortion to breast cancer (KS & NH); granting doctors legal right to withhold medical information from a patient if they believe the patient will then seek an abortion (KS and AZ; this also includes protection from malpractice suits associated with such withholding); mandatory but medically unnecessary ultrasounds before abortions (VA, AL, PA, NC, TX, NH, KY, & IL); proposed bills in AZ and MT defining personhood as the first day of the mother's last menstrual period or the moment of conception; de-funding of Planned Parenthood (despite that fact the most of what they do is breast cancer and cervical cancer screenings for low income women); and the contentious struggle over passing the Violence Against Women Act, which finally made it through the Senate (the trip through the House is expected to be much more challenging). All in all, over 900 bills that are "anti-women" in nature have been proposed already this year, and traditionally supported bipartisan legislation that facilitates gender equality has taken a beating. I am baffled; what is going on? I don't believe for one minute that all those subscribing to a conservative political ideology are anti-female or anti gender equality. Perhaps there is simply a failure to recognize the broader implications of the pattern when observed in its entirety. Focusing on one small part is like looking at a Monet up close; you have to back up to find a coherent image. The problem is that collectively we don't tend to back up.
At the most basic level, we have a biological reality that has reinforced a societal notion of female accountability; there is no corresponding requirement for male accountability on a biological level, and often not on a societal level either. Because of this, women have long born the burdens of their actions as well as the actions of men. We have developed a culture where "boys will be boys" is so ingrained that we fail to examine our assumptions or to respond appropriately to behavior. More often we look to women to fix the problem or to accept blame for it. If a little boy shows off his penis on the school playground, his mother is called (and he usually gets scolded) - but we laugh "Oh, boys!" If a little girl flashes a peer on the school playground the response is much swifter, more punitive, and more shame focused when responding to both the parents and the child. Have we ever stopped to ask why that tends to be true, and to examine the assumptions behind it? What about when an adolescent or single female becomes pregnant? She is often labeled, shunned, or devalued. Why? She didn't get pregnant by herself, but in all likelihood she will shoulder both the social and practical accountability. When a woman is being abused by her partner as a society we ask why she stays, rather then addressing the partner's decision to be violent. There is a marked lack of honesty when our society examines violent relationships. The multitude of barriers to leaving - both practical and societal - are ignored. Thus we turn away, holding her accountable for her partner's violence when leaving truly might not be a viable option.
No where is this misplaced notion of accountability more striking than when we approach the topic of sexual assault, which brings me back to SlutWalk. SlutWalk is, at its core, a march to protest rape culture. Rape culture refers to the social, political, and institutionalized beliefs and systems that maintain the victim blaming paradigm. To deny its existence would be monumentally naive. When a woman is assaulted, people (including other women) automatically begin to examine her behavior. This is a natural reaction to vulnerability and fear; what can I do differently to make sure this does not happen to me; how am I different so that I know I am safe. OK, I get that; but the implicit message in such dialogue is that what she did or failed to do makes her responsible for the behavior of the rapist. It reinforces the fundamental belief that she should have predicted it and could have prevented it. News flash, folks ~ none of us can see the future and the only person whose behavior we can control is our own. We are all potentially vulnerable, and that is just a reality. The knowledge that 25% of women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime is frightening to face. The knowledge that the average acquaintance rapist has about 6 victims deflates the notion of "poor guy, falsely accused".
SlutWalk has a motto or mantra of sorts that seeks to address some common myths:
We demand that our bodies and all bodies be respected. Our worth as human beings is not determined by our sexuality.
No matter what I wear; no matter what I look like
(This refers to our scrutiny of a victim's physical appearance. So why are victims assaulted while wearing jeans, jogging clothes, or business suits? Why is it that most men would not commit an assault? Revealing clothing or remarkable physical beauty may encourage looking but that is all. We go to museums to look at beautiful, unique, or compelling works of art; we do not touch them. A person's body should be no different. Un-coerced permission is mandatory.)
No matter what my gender expression is; No matter how much, how little, or what kind of sex I have
(This speaks directly to the problem of "corrective rape" as well as our habit of questioning a victim's sexual history. Having had a variety of sexual partners before, in any number or configuration, does not imply openness to to all potential partners, in all circustances, or at all times. Again, un-coerced permission is mandatory.)
No matter what I've done before; No matter where I come from; No matter how my body has been "devalued" by others; No matter what I have been called
(Having said yes to a particular partner before does not mean yes every time. Each instance of sexual contact is an opportunity to choose to give consent or to decline. Dating, living together, or being married is not automatic consent. Using guilt, coercion, name calling, badgering, threats, consciousness altering agents, or waiting until she is asleep is not seeking consent; it is manipulation at best, and it is always sexual assault.)
The bottom line is that we fail to hold those committing sexual assault accountable for their behavior. We certainly protect our mini-stars; athletes, politicians, entertainers, the wealthy. It is easier, less vulnerable, to blame the victim. By holding perpetrators accountable we come face to face with our own vulnerability to being harmed. Simultaneously we are also faced with our own propensity to cause harm. By holding those with power and privilege accountable for their choices, we risk the start of a paradigm in which we all might lose the advantages afforded us by our own power and privilege.
So at the cost of women's well being,we cling desperately to the status quo and even publicly backslide as a nation. A woman who is held down - verbally, socially, financially, politically, academically, or professionally - cannot effect change. Someone who is constantly under threat of some kind, and scrutinized and blamed if she is harmed, often will not seek attention or recognition. The collective conservative position appears to be aimed at making progress more difficult for women. Is there a fear about what women are capable of? Maybe there is a fear that women will misuse and abuse power as men have. Perhaps there is fear that women will reflexively oppress men, a retribution of sorts. Is there indignation that we are still seeking equal pay for equal work? Perhaps it is facing the loss of a convenient scapegoat; there is a historical trend to blame women for the ills of the world and for men's poor choices (i.e. Eve, Pandora, Helen of Troy, Guinevere). It could be any of thousands of reasons, and likely is different for each person. What matters is that decision makers become honest enough with themselves, and we become honest enough with ourselves, to explore the reasons behind our beliefs and behaviors. Do they make sense? Are they balanced? Are they harmful? To whom, in what way, and what makes that acceptable?
Many of the current dots on the social and political canvas of our nation coalesce into a picture of threat to women. So for me SlutWalk became more than just a protest against rape culture. It was an opportunity to visibly and peacefully disagree publicly with the political and societal attitudes that threaten to undermine and oppress women, simply because we are women, mothers, partners, and still every bit as capable and remarkable as men.
